


How I'm Supposed to Breathe (With No Air)

by jyongdae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Allergies, Asthma, Asthmatic Chanyeol, Comfort No Hurt, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:19:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9642377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyongdae/pseuds/jyongdae
Summary: Chanyeol has an asthma attack in the middle of the night but luckily, he's got Jongdae.





	

Last time Chanyeol had lost his inhaler it had been mostly okay.

Jongin had visited unannounced with his dogs, all three of them, whilst Jongdae had been in and Chanyeol at work. By the time he got home, Monggu, Jjangu and Jjangah had climbed all over the furniture and rubbed their fur into every inch of carpet in the living room. Chanyeol had pushed the front door open, taken a deep breath and boom. His eyes started watering. He was halfway to taking his shoes off when the pups all came careening around the corner in unison, yapping and pawing at Chanyeol, while Jongin came tumbling after.

"Chanyeol! Hi!"

Chanyeol felt the telltale tightness between his eyes.

"Oh, shit," comes Jongdae's voice from the doorway, fast feet quickly pattering to the kitchen after.

Chanyeol was trying his best to bat the dogs away without actually touching them when Jongin realised what he'd done. It was mostly okay. Jongdae couldn't find the inhaler but Jongin ran out to buy antihistamines and it was mostly okay. Chanyeol had taken himself into his and Jongdae's shared bedroom to change into something without dog hair on and washed his hands and the itching in his eyes settled down after a while. Jongdae made sure to vacuum the whole of the apartment after and stuck a post-it on the fridge to order another inhaler prescription and kissed behind Chanyeol's ear in apology until he was wheezing in ticklish laughter. It was okay.

The next time, maybe not so much.

Jongin doesn't bring the dogs around again, and Jongdae makes sure that the medicine box in the kitchen is always stocked with antihistamines but it's not an issue that can be so easily fixed. It's early December, when the days are shorter and darker and the cold has firmly set in and made itself comfortable. The seasons always fuck Chanyeol up. But especially so in the winter. And especially so in the nighttime.

As short as the days are, it's been a particularly long one for Chanyeol. He kinda loves his job at the music store, but the Christmas shopping hours have him stretched thin over long shifts. He doesn't leave Yixing to lock up the store until 10pm and it's pitch black outside when he leaves, snow gently falling down to sit in his hair and on his nose. It's pretty, he thinks even as his chest feels tight. He thinks that maybe if enough of it settles, he and Jongdae can get up early to make a snowman in the park before the kids get out and muddy it all.

By the time he gets to his street, his teeth are chattering and each cold breath barely seems to make it past his throat before it catches. Inside it's better. Jongdae has put the heating on and is curled up on the sofa with a hot chocolate in his hands, another on the coffee table, still steaming and waiting for Chanyeol.

Jongdae, Chanyeol thinks, is nothing short of a miracle. He smiles when Chanyeol comes in, in the way that has his eyes crinkling happy, and wails when Chanyeol presses his cold hands against the back of his neck, nearly spilling his cocoa all over the both of them. Chanyeol changes into his onesie, Batman, matching Jongdae's Robin, and fits himself behind Jongdae on the sofa to watch _RuPaul's Drag Race_ and bury his nose into Jongdae's hair when they're not feeding each other last night's leftover takeout.

It's fine, really, until they go to bed. They curl up together much the same as they had on the sofa, Chanyeol curving around Jongdae, arms around him to pull him close and keep him warm. He presses his palm over where Jongdae's heart lies, out of habit, liking to feel the beat, lets it ease him into sleep, when Jongdae speaks.

"Are you okay?" he asks. His voice is quiet and concerned and Chanyeol can feel his face inclining back towards him against his neck.

"Hm?"

"I can feel your breathing," he says. One of his hands finds the one that Chanyeol has laced over his heart. He locks their fingers together. "You're a bit wheezy."

"Mm. I'm fine," he nuzzles into Jongdae. "I love you."

Jongdae hums and hooks one of his legs around Chanyeol's. They fall asleep completely tangled up in each other.

They wake up apart.

When Chanyeol's eyes fly open his chest is wracking and his throat burns. He gasps and his lungs feel smaller than his fists and just as tight. He curls into himself immediately, rising onto his hands and knees, coughing uncontrollably over the sheets. It isn't until his coughing eases up just enough for him to try and breathe that he realises that Jongdae is in near hysterics beside him. He feels how tense all of his muscles are as he recognises the touch of Jongdae's hands running over his back, fervently trying to soothe Chanyeol's wracking body, his voice high and alarmed as he asks Chanyeol if he's okay, what he needs, where his inhaler is.

Jongdae's hands leave Chanyeol's body and Chanyeol feels his dip in the mattress rise as he drops his head into the pillow. He groans, and feels the prick of tears in his eyes as the coughing starts again. The strain of it has the muscles in his neck and forehead hurting from the pressure and effort and there's a brief moment where he thinks he might vomit.

He sniffs, and finds that his nostils are slightly blocked and he doesn't know if it's the asthma attack or the tears that have brought it on and Jongdae's voice is coming from the kitchen, sounding frazzled and desperate. He's asking where Chanyeol's inhaler is, and Chanyeol can hear the metal tin of the medicine box being dropped onto the laminate tiles of the kitchen floor but Chanyeol really can't find the air to respond, can't get the oxygen to his brain enough to even think of a reply.

When Jongdae comes back he has a glass of water. The coughing subsides long enough for Chanyeol to lift himself up and sit back on his knees. Jongdae is on his own knees beside him, eyes wide and glistening, and the tightness in Chanyeol's chest grows stronger.

"I-I-" Chanyeol hiccups. He knows he must look a mess, knows his eyes are streaming and his cheeks are red and he probably has spit on his face.

"Hey," Jongdae says. He moves closer, blinks away his own tears in sight of Chanyeol's and takes Chanyeol's hands in his own. "Hey, are you okay?"

Chanyeol's breaths are coming in short, fast gasps and he can't help that he's hyperventilating, he can't control how his lungs feel like they've jumped up his chest and tied themselves around his throat and he feels closed in, everything is too tight and he starts pulling at the collar of his pyjamas, even as the sound of his breathing, the rasping ghostly sounds of every inhale and exhale gets louder with each breath.

"No, no, no," Jongdae says as he puts his hands over Chanyeol's, pulling them away from his clothes. "It's too cold, it's because of the cold, don't take your onesie off, that'll just make it worse."

He bites down on a whine as a frustrated tear escapes and he wipes at it as Jongdae's eyes just grow wider. He doesn't want to scare Jongdae like this. He doesn't want to feel like his skin is rashy with stinging nettles on the inside.

"Okay, we just need to- we just need to calm you down, right? Okay, um," Jongdae turns Chanyeol so that he's facing him, the two of them on their knees facing each other. "Try and breathe with me, yeah? In and out, slowly, with me," He takes one of Chanyeol's hands and places it over his chest. "Follow me, okay?  _In_ ," he takes a deep breath, puffing his chest out. Chanyeol tries to follow but holding it for more than two seconds has him choking and the coughing starts again. "Oh my god, fuck, shit, I'm so sorry, fuck-"

Chanyeol's hunched over Jongdae's lap, trying to contain himself, and only managing to shake violently all over him.

He can sense Jongdae's increasing hysteria and wants nothing more than to tell him it's totally okay, he can ride out an asthma attack without his inhaler, he's not gonna die probably, but he's too preoccupied with how lightheaded he's starting to feel and how aggressively his chest is heaving.

Then suddenly, he hears angels. They're singing, quiet and lovely and trembling and that's when Chanyeol realises that it's Jongdae above him. Jongdae's voice wavers as he sings so Chanyeol tries harder to steady himself. Figures that the sooner he steadies, the sooner Jongdae will steady, and he can do that for Jongdae. He can do that.

He pushes down on the scratch in his throat and concentrates on opening his lungs more than trying to breath faster. He feels Jongdae's hands pushing his hair out of his eyes and tries to concentrate on that, the warmth of his fingers in the cold air of their apartment.

"J-Jongdae," Chanyeol manages to whine into Jongdae's lap, and Jongdae sighs a little.

"Hey," he says soothingly. He runs his hands through Chanyeol's hair and Chanyeol whines again. "What do you need? Water?"

Chanyeol takes the water and manages a sip, small and careful not to spill any, before pressing his forehead into the crook of Jongdae's neck.

"Again," he says quietly. His voice is rough and low.

"Wha-Water? More water?" He brings his hands up to stroke down Chanyeol's back and Chanyeol revels in it, tries to steady himself more, still hiccuping.

"No- the- the singing," he heats up but tries not to press his face into Jongdae's skin, needs to not block his air supply. "The singing helps."

"Oh."

When Jongdae sings next, his voice doesn't waver as much. He's quiet, but Chanyeol can feel the vibrations of it through his body and crowds closer, climbs nearly into Jongdae's lap as he forces his hiccups to slow down. The rasps in his breath grow longer, slowing to a normal pace.

He relaxes into Jongdae's hold, folding into him as he calms, slowly, slowly, finally. The tension in his muscles falls away like thawing ice. He groans.

Jongdae shushes him, gently runs his hands over Chanyeol's back and arms, pulls him to lying down. Against the mattress and away from the light that streams through the blinds, Chanyeol can still see the tear tracks that have dried over Jongdae's cheeks.

Chanyeol brings a hand up to press a thumb lightly against one.

"Thank you," he whispers, hoarse and tired. Jongdae kisses him thumb. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Jongdae presses a kiss to his palm and then brings it down to his chest, over his heart.

"You're okay," he whispers back. "So I'm okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Tomorrow I'm getting you a new inhaler."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i've been forgetting to replace my inhaler for like 3 weeks now i'm literally dying


End file.
